Author Topic: We have kidnapped Doge, and this is our demand.  (Read 822 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MysticalDoge

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Puppy
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Shiba Inu
    • View Profile
We have kidnapped Doge, and this is our demand.
« on: February 04, 2014, 11:18:17 PM »
My name is Mystical Doge, and I am the spokesman for the People’s Liberation Against Justin Bieber (

During the early hours of February 5, 2014, a five-man team successfully captured Doge in a daring and highly-organized kidnapping operation. There were no fatalities, and we have since stashed Doge in a luxurious hotel suite in an undisclosed metropolitan in North America.

In six hours’ time, we will begin a series of brutal torture against Doge, including

(i) Leaving Bieber’s Confident ( as the only track on Doge’s iPod
(ii) Putting After Earth ( on a 24-hour loop on the TV.
(iii) We are in the midst of completing extensive cat-themed wall decorations in his suite (
(iv) All of meals and drinks will be served only in feline-inspired cutleries (
(v) And last but not least, we have scheduled an appointment with Paris Hilton to provide complete styling consultancy to Doge. We guarantee, within days, Doge will end up looking like Tinkerbell (

Frankly speaking, I’m not sure even Doge is capable of surviving this ordeal. The psychological strain here is inhuman. Save your name-calling; we are immune to lame word-based insults, unless it involves references to the Church of Scientology - in which case, in the name of Xenu, don't!

And if you think the People’s Liberation Against Justin Bieber is kidding, then let me share with you something about us. We don't know who you are. But what we do have are very particular set of skills; skills we have acquired over very long careers. Skills that make us a nightmare for Doge.

If you pay us, that'll be the end of it. We will let Doge go, and he will be saved from a torturously torturous series of tortures. The choice, ladies and gentlemen, is yours.

Here’s our Doge wallet: D8W7s75jvpBmAB3wApsuWcxtUonP8N2M4F


Sitemap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14