Author Topic: Zeven Jokes Around  (Read 561 times)

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Offline Zeven

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Zeven Jokes Around
« on: January 23, 2014, 10:59:59 AM »
Let's see if I can out pace my slow miner with laughs for tips. Who doesn't need a smile? The jokes are free, some organically hand picked from the internet for your enjoyment. I don't expect anyone to really tip me, but 1 or 2 would doge would be epic. DKVAyofs6pcZui684quDL78ou62BkeRESd

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part
of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines,
the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen
to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air
and scatter oneself over a wide area."

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-
law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Q. Where do you find a no legged doge?
A. Right where you left him.

Police Officer: Ma'am we just got a call about your doge chasing a kid on a bike.
Lady: That's a new one... I didn't know my doge could ride a bike.

Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman.
Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics and physics!"
"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
"That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"
Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think doge rates are headed?"

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch.

The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers.
That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."

The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"

Can I has a Doge? I promise to take good care of it. My Address: DKVAyofs6pcZui684quDL78ou62BkeRESd


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